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Joy
25 Bogotá, Bogota, Colombia
Seeking: Male 18 - 39
I am a sweet, loving girl that is unable to think on her own, who's looking for a male to give meaning to her life, it doesn’t matter if you are hairy, fat (or too thin) and the only thing you do for your appearance is take a daily shower (men don’t need to do anything more), the uglier the better, as I am a woman I am practically blind, so I really don’t mind about how you look, looks are only important to men, therefore I am staying fit and beautiful for your man eyes (until I’m about 39 when I’ll be physically worthless and you may dispose of me). I will always be by your side and do anything you ask me to, my master. As a woman I have no decision skills (sorry! can't help it, it's nature), so I would have to ask you to decide for me on any kind of situation. Also, I will happily stay home while you go out to work as the strong, important, intelligent guy you are, you are free to call me on fridays and tell me you are having trouble at work and need to stay longer while you go out with some ho, please, keep it like that as I love lies and being kept away from the truth. I am willing to have from 10 to 15 children (if you want more, you just say it), I will take care of them all as I can’t be good at anything else besides motherhood, if I have no children I am worthless. I will also clean all your sh1t, your shoes, your underwear, your house, you won’t ever have to do any cleaning for me (or our kids), you are a MAN, you shall be sloppy and disgusting, otherwise I wouldn't consider you manly enough for me (not that my thoughts matter at all, but I know how bad you wanna be a macho all the time so you will agree with me on this). I am unable to play, watch or like sports, as that is your role as a man. I also don’t drink beer like you, because it’s not sweet enough for my womanly palate and it will make me fat. I can only think of two things: 1) pleasing you 2) not getting fat. So please, understand me. I only eat salad and water. I never burp, never fart, never curse (I am subhuman), though YOU, my man, are welcome to do all of these anytime (all your male friends, too), I will giggle! I am practically a doll. I have no soul. --------- If you loved the above and thought “Gee, I’ve just found the perfect woman, I’m marrying her”, sorry, it was all BS and I am the complete opposite to that. So there you have it, "A little bit about myself" in reverse, cause the normal and regular stuff bore me to death. Did you like it? Wait, I don’t care. Some important messages from the real me to you: 1-I am a feminist. Don't speak to me if you're not, and don't attempt to have a conversation with me if you have an average intelligence or social status, I will not be interested. 2-Don't message me to ask for my NUMBER!! If I wanted anyone to have it, I would just post it online and wouldn't bother to register at a site like this (that actually happens to have a working chat system!) My number is private, WhatsApp is too invasive, no, I don't want hundreds of people speaking to me directly on my phone, I have a life, I need my time. So, if you are truly interested you will be patient and wait for me to have free time to login to the site and read your messages. If you are "too busy to enter the site" it's ok, you won't have time for me either so there's nothing to do about us. Go work, or whatever keeps you SO busy, Mr. president. 3-If my profile happens to be “too long for you to read”, then I wonder what happens when you have a book in your hands, or even the newspaper, I bet your brain might explode. So, stay away from literature, and my message box, thank you. PS: I am far from being a rude person, I am decent, compassionate and kind but I also happen to be utterly straightforward and painfully honest (you can start crying now, but be sure no one sees you as they may think you’re becoming a woman, and that’s the worst insult anyone can get).
M'Bouvier
25 Medellín, Antioquia, Colombia
Seeking: Male 37 - 44
Please read all my profile before message me. First of all: *IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO PREMIUM ACCOUNT DON'T MESSAGE, I'LL NOT SEE YOUR MESSAGE BECAUSE I DON'T AND I WON'T PAY FOR THIS PROFILE; I THINK MOST OF YOU KNOW THAT "FREE PROFILES" CAN'T READ MESSAGES BETWEEN THEM* SO I'LL BE A WAIST OF TIME. -I won't send you naked pics or something like that, I don't have my phone full of selfies waiting for you if you wanna see photos of me follow me on Instagram ;) -If you are the "I'm busy talk to you soon" type Please Don't message i that means that if you don't have the time to show yourself you'll not have the time to go out or even go for drinks without looking at your phone every second 🙄that's disrespectful. I hate it! -Long talks that are just the basic: Hello, how are you, everyday without saying anything new are not my favorite. Now... If you did you end up here you probably think: This girl is crazy, who was believed to send me but I sincerely believe that the fill an entire form about your life will not make the other person who reads it knows you best; personally I like and I prefer the company body to body, you know? Go out to take/eat something and get to know each other, I like the touch and abhor the endless chats but if I find interesting person I can spend hours (obviously there are exceptions) if you have time and you are close, conozcamonos ;) ;). I am from Cali, Colombia- i have 24 years I consider myself a woman, quiet but explosive fun, i love strong emotions and explore new paths with a good company, enjoyed singing and dancing, I am from the people who speak with animals 💗used to model but now I am focused on a different future. I am a fan of The Simpsons and also videos Minions. Affectionate, kind, honest, sincere, positive and few virtues more as I am also of strong character, stubborn, sometimes very would be hahaha is rare enough to write these things but I hope that you can know better in reality there is a lot to say and do. English speaker. Meditation Netflix and chill 👏 I don't have a boyfriend... No kids (maybe in the future) Loves to travel and try new things at least eleven loves to go for a walk 420 friendly (yes I can live without it) No, I don't do drugs I love beer 😁 I like to enjoy live in a responsible and secure way (But I don't mind take risks 😉 Message if you still are interested 🤭 I don't have Facebook, only use instag.. Salvatore_mmar

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